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With NaNoWriMo approaching, I’ve started to think about what I might do. Last year was my first attempt and I wrote what I consider as the basis of a good story. Since then, I parked the manuscript in favour of re-writing another story, going back to it every now and then for my Friday Fiction posts.

I think that the main character, Dillon, has a lot of potential. Originally, he was a character from my first story in a spin-off of his own, but I’ve decided against that idea. Instead, this will be a completely separate story, so I renamed some characters in both stories (the beauty of work in progress) and did some jigging about to make that happen.

What I would like to do is re-write the story for Nano this year, now that I have spent a year getting to know the characters. I’m not sure if it’s cheating, but if it doesn’t count as an official Nano entry, I will use the time in November as a way of making myself knuckle down and get on with it. It means that I will need to finish editing my first story by then, but hopefully I can do that.

One character, in particular, in the book needs working on. She doesn’t really appear in the story, but is the catalyst for everything that happens to Dillon. Her name is Anna and here is some of her story…

I knew this would happen one day, even though I’ve been in denial about it. What I didn’t anticipate was how it would make me feel and how it would affect those I have to leave behind. Five years of relative freedom; five years to finish school, live with a normal family and have some kind of life; five years to get comfortable and feel normal again. Perhaps it was wrong of me to do that.

I let myself get too close to people: my step mum and dad, my stepsister and of course, Dillon. I tried to break it off with him enough times and God knows he gave me enough reasons to. His jealousy was enough to make anyone walk away, but I could never do it. That jealousy, as ugly a trait as it was, came with a passion that I found addictive. The fights we had were wild and we never cared who saw us. People must have thought we were crazy to be together. No one could have imagined how close we really were. No one saw what went on behind doors, when that passion would explode.

There was no walking away from that. Dillon wasn’t good for me and I wasn’t good for him, but somehow we needed each other. Now I have to leave him and he has no idea why.

Chief Inspector Rothwell says he has it all worked out and I shouldn’t worry. They’ll make it look like I ran away. Fingers will point, he says and it’s likely the police will question Dillon. Thinking about those rows we had, that’s no surprise. What will that do to Dillon though? There is no way he would ever hurt me and it’s going to kill him to think that other people could accuse him of doing so. I wish I could tell him why I have to go, but I can’t. I can’t even say goodbye.

Because of one man from my former life, things will never be the same again. Even though that man is behind bars, he has found a way to get to me. That threat is enough to make me run and hide. I will never be me, the real me again. I will never be able to stay in one place too long, to put down roots, start a family, and be happy. I always wanted to be an actor, but this isn’t the sort of acting I had in mind. That’s what I will be from now on though: an actor, re-inventing myself for the rest of my life and living in a world that’s not real, not to me anyway.

I pray every evening: please God look after Dillon and make sure that he’s ok. Help him through this and keep him out of trouble for me. I don’t know what else to do and I fear for him. If God can’t help him, I don’t know who else can because the one thing I am sure of is that Dillon has the potential to be a danger unto himself and unfortunately, I am going to be the trigger of his self-destruction.

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Also sharing this for What I’m Writing.