Why is it whenever I encounter someone with an inspiring attitude, nine times out of ten that person has suffered, or is suffering some adversity?

The most positive people I know, understand what it is to feel loss, pain or suffering and yet you would never know. They take every challenge in life, no matter how difficult, and find a positive way of looking at it.

These individuals could spend their days moping and feeling sorry for themselves, telling other people about the rough hand they’ve been dealt and constantly analysing ‘why me’, but they don’t do that. Why?

I’ve not always been the most positive person. In fact, I don’t think this kind of attitude comes naturally to anyone. A lot of adult behaviour is learned, so your attitudes to life might very well reflect those of your parents. They could, if looking at it another way, be a direct result of parental attitudes and a need to move away from that negativity.

Taking a positive outlook on life is something that needs to come from within.

It’s easier to moan and feel sorry for your lot in life. It takes a lot more courage to say ‘hey, you know what, it’s not all that bad, look at what we’ve got?’ For those who’ve experienced true hardship, they understand this more than anyone. They know what they’ve lost and so can appreciate what they’ve got.

I hate to hear my children moan.

In fact, I can’t stand it and I always make an effort to remind them to think about what they’re saying and look at their problem in a different way. I want them to grow up with this positive type of attitude. They will need it to survive in this crazy world.

I don’t like to hear my children feeling sorry for themselves. They have no right to do that. And whilst it’s ok to remind them of how many children in the world would kill to be in their position, this doesn’t always register with a child. I feel it’s better to work on their attitude and get them to think about their problems from another angle.

We bought a number of positive thinking books for our children, from early years picture books, up to young adult.

They all deal with the same thing, which is how you look at life and deal with everyday situations around you. Some say it in the most simplest of ways, like the lovely ‘Have you filled a bucket today?’ one of my favourites. They all show that positive behaviour can have an impact on your life for the better, including both your mental and physical well-being. It’s worth reminding ourselves how we deal with situations when our youngsters are constantly looking to us for guidance.

It won’t be an easy process, but I feel it’s something worth working at and constantly repeating the messages. It helps me, as an adult, by reminding me to behave in the same way – practise what you preach and all that.

If I hear someone moaning about how difficult their life is because they have to run their children to so many clubs and try to make dinner in between and how hard it is, and all this whilst they’re at the gym or having coffee with their friends, I wonder can they really hear themselves? Everyone has difficulties in their lives, I get that, but perhaps you can think about what you put on other people because you won’t hear the ones with the greatest suffering moaning about it. They just don’t. They just get on with their lives and somehow find the strength to find joy and happiness from whatever they can around them.

We could all learn from that sort of behaviour.